Old Piano in May

japo&diva March 20, 2011

my two beeeeeest friends.

all along, i thought that when i make decisions in my life, i stand alone. i can decide on what to do and need no help. i often ask advice from friends but most of the time i seek for affirmation.i already know what to do and what i want to do. now, im in a limbo. i do not know what to do and what is best to do. i have lived my life within schemes. schemes, that i have intricately built. walls, dungeons, caves, clubs, are not just barriers for my being, but also a piece taht brings me an off sided pleasure.no it is not pleasure, it is security.

just like kenshin, my cold state is now shatterd, i am enveloped with warth and compassion. something that is overrated something that most of the time overly romanticised. i feel love from this people. i feel trust. i feel hurt. i feel care. i feel security. i them loving. i miss them right now, when i no negativity is in between us. when all of us have their own darkness lurking by our sides, but each of us give each light. it may be as faint as the tiny dot in the black abyss.

i miss it when they drag me into something with enthusiasm and i defeatedly agree on it, even if i don’t wnat to.
i like it when they do the same. haha.

the three of us have different personalities.

i bond with them in different ways, and trip in different ways.

someone asked me if who is closer to me and to whom, i’d say both at the same level.